|
|
|
|
|
“Look before you leap” is the advice I would give every prospective client who wants to file for a divorce; as a step in this direction would not be easily retractable. The instances, where both the husband and wife agree to revoke the decision of divorce, are rare. I must admit that I have been successful in attaining this albeit in very few cases. In my memory, there have been very few occasions wherein, both the parties, after having settled their differences outside court, withdraw their petition of divorce and resolve to live happily together again. Therefore, the decision to proceed for a divorce should never be a hurried one.
At the time of proceeding for a divorce, the concerned parties are so involved in their own emotional upheaval that they fail to see beyond. When emotions overpower a person, he/she fails to see reason and thus, is unable to think rationally. Therefore, the enthusiasm seen at the time of filing of the divorce, vanishes into thin air once the divorce is pronounced. In my career, I have seen both the man and woman, being equally affected once the court announces the marriage as dissolved. The difference in their behaviour, i.e. before and after the divorce, indicates that the decision was taken in haste. Most people fail to understand that going for a divorce is easy, but turning back is extremely difficult, rather not possible. The reason being that all doors get locked behind, as one takes a step forward in this direction. It is like the death of a relationship which cannot be revived. This may sound quite harsh but it is a reality that cannot be ignored.
|
|
The process of obtaining a divorce is quite simple, if not contested. However, if contested, it can be worse than the trauma one has already undergone in their marital relationship. In India, granting of a divorce by a court takes a minimum of six months, provided the pre-condition of a one-year separation between husband and wife is fulfilled. This is normally the case when the divorce is filed by mutual consent. However, if one of the parties wants to contest the petition filed by another, it may take anything between two to five years to obtain a divorce, depending upon the number of matters pending in that particular court. Issues such as maintenance, access and the custody of children, have to be decided and these take a pretty long time, especially when one of the parties to the proceedings, chooses to challenge the orders in appeal. Such matters do get resolved during the trial, and sometimes are settled when the case is at the appellate stage. Thus, predicting the exact time required for the proceedings of a divorce, or obtaining of a divorce, would be a difficult task even for a fortune teller.
Therefore, it is always advisable to sort things out by communicating with your partner and then coming to a decision settled amicably, before proceeding for a divorce. Always re-evaluate the situation before arriving at such a harsh decision. Calmly accepting the reality of their life would do a lot of good to those who have to face it, ‘cause then only would they be able to sit back and evaluate the situation. In other words, sit down and list out the pros and cons of staying married versus the realities of divorce and being single.
The following aspects should be seriously taken into consideration—children, career status and ability to make money , finances and lifestyle changes, cost of obtaining a divorce, being single again? “Being single again” is the question that will haunt you for the rest of your life, think again-- are you really prepared for it? You are the best person to answer this, and you alone know the answer.
As the famous columnist, Shobha De, has evaluated the institution of marriage in just two lines. She says, “ When good memories outnumber the bad memories in a marriage, then it is fair to call the marriage successful.” Very rightly said, isn’t it?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
